I am not THAT desperate (FINAL) 

*CrackHeads ChatGroup*

°°°

Seotato Madness: Unnies what shall we do?  Will  Fany unnie be okay? 

Find me in da Dark: What happened to Piggy? 

Mighty Mouth: Aish! Yul unnie backread for Pete’s sake! 

Find me in da Dark: Yoong just tell me. 

Mighty Mouth: No! 

Find me in da Dark: Come on someone tell me! 😈

Girl On Crack REMOVED Find me in da Dark FROM THE GROUP

Seotato Madness: Hyo unnie lmao 😂

Girl On Crack: You’re welcome! So what happened?

Bean to the Pole: Someone kick Hyo outta here!!! 

Girl On Crack: Try me Soo and I’ll kick your shin til it fell off that you’ll be smaller than Sunkyu. 😈🤘🔪

It’s Heavy: Leave my height alone Hyo 💣 

Bean to the Pole: Sunny how does it feel to exercise everyday? 

It’s Heavy: I’m not doing exercise regularly Soo 🤔 But thanks for the compliment 💕

Girl On Crack: She’s talking about your boobs stupid. 

Bean to the Pole: I mean I can’t imagine myself lifting weights from my chest all the time. 🤔 You’re such a healthy person Sun! 

Bean to the Pole: Damn Hyo you beat me to it!  😂😂

Seotato Madness: 😑

Girl On Crack: I know buddy! Your wifi is shit 🤘

Mighty Mouth: 😂😂😂

It’s Heavy: Oh really? At least I’m not misunderstood as a man cause I don’t have a chest. Heck! Shindong oppa’s chest fats make it look bigger than yours. 

Ps. You can’t imagine because u dont have boobs in the first place. 

Girl On Crack: Buuuuurrrrnnnnn !!! Take that Soo!  🔥 🔥 🔥 

Seotato Madness:

Mighty Mouth: 😂😂😂

Bean to the Pole IS TYPING… 

It’s Heavy REMOVED Bean to the Pole FROM THE GROUP 

Mighty Mouth: Oh wow there’s a lot of kicking HAHAHAHA POOR MY UNNIES! 

Seotato Madness: Unnies can we talk about the real issue here now? Fany unnie. 😑

It’s Heavy: Okay okay,  seorry 😅

It’s Heavy INVITED Jessica Jung INTO THE GROUP

It’s Heavy: let’s wait for sica to join so she’ll be the one to call fany 😊

1 minute… 

2 minutes… 

5 minutes… 

10 minutes… 

Girl On Crack: is she pooping 💩 damn gurl,  i wish she’s not sleeping 😂 

Mighty Mouth: unnie you’re dead when she knows it. 

Jessica Jung JOINED THE GROUP

Girl On Crack: then it’s a secret yoong 😉

Jessica Jung: what secret. And dafuq with the nicknames 🙄

It’s Heavy: ask hyo 🙄

Girl On Crack: welcum back shikkkaaa halabyu 😘😘😘

Jessica Jung: … I didn’t go anywhere. Whatchu talkin bout? 🙄

Girl On Crack: I TOLD YOU GUYS SHE’S POOPINGGGGGGGG 💩 

Jessica Jung: YAHHHH! I’M NOT! 

Seotato Madness: Unnies can we talk about the real issue here.. Fany unnie 😑 and hello sica unnie 💕

Jessica Jung: hello to you too seob 😘 what about tiff? 

Girl On Crack CHANGED Jessica Jung’s NICKNAME TO The Missing Pussy.

It’s Heavy:

Seotato Madness: … 😑😑😑😑

The Missing Pussy: …🔪🔪🔪

Mighty Mouth: 😂😂😂😂😂

Girl On Crack: 😎😎😎

It’s Heavy: sica-yah can you call fany and see if she’s alright? Seob’s really worried coz apparently, that small perv of an alien went to LA and i quote seob “with an animalistic cheshire smirk” on her face.

Girl On Crack: pfft.. HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

The Missing Pussy: what are u laughin about… -.- okay Sun! Easy pea! 

Girl On Crack: ur nickname HAHAHAHAHAHA

The Missing Pussy REMOVED Girl On Crack FROM THE GROUP

Mighty Mouth: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO UNNIE THAT’S THE THIRD ONE TO GET KICKED! 

The Missing Pussy: wait lemme check on tiff. I’ll tell you guys after. 

Hyoyeon Kim WANTS TO JOIN THE GROUP

The Missing Pussy BLOCKED Hyoyeon Kim FROM THE GROUP

Seotato Madness: sica unnie thanks!  

OHBAMA WANTS TO JOIN THE GROUP

Seotato Madness: OMG UNNIE THAT’S THE U.S PRESIDENT! 

It’s Heavy: Juhyun ah donm

Seotato Madness: what?

Seotato Madness ACCEPT OHBAMA INTO THE GROUP

It’s Heavy: dont*

OHBAMA: now where’s that missing pussy. WE NEED TO TALK YOU ASS! 

OHBAMA CHANGED HER NICKNAME TO The Pussy Hunter

The Pussy Hunter: yah jung jessica come out!  How dare u!  😠😠😠😤

The Pussy Hunter: hello?  Anybody home? 

The Pussy Hunter: u guys r shit

The Pussy Hunter INVITED Yuri Kwon AND Sooyoung Choi INTO THE GROUP

1 minute… 

2 minutes… 

The Pussy Hunter:  im leaving

The Pussy Hunter: bye

The Pussy Hunter: i said bye and I’m not coming back. 

Yuri Kwon JOINED THE GROUP

Sooyoung Choi JOINED THE GROUP

The Pussy Hunter: u guys are shit

———

ring ring

It rings in a couple of seconds before the person on the other line answered. 

Jessica heard some slight awkward sounds but she set them aside. Her friend’s safety comes first. 

“Hello J-jess.. What’s u-up? ” comes a breathy greeting from the line.

“Hey are you okay? Tiff?  You sounds like you’re in pain. The members are worried about you, specially the maknae.”

“Tell them I-i’m…”

“What will I tell them?  You don’t sound okay for me. You know I’m in San Francisco right? Come over if there’s anything wrong.”

Worry. That’s the emotion that she’s feeling right now. 

What if she tried riding a bicycle and then she fell down then hit her head somewhere? 

Ohmygosh! What if it’s a motorcycle and then she broom broom it fast and then she made it jump in the pier until it jumps inside the ship before she fell down in the water where sharks are waiting?! 

OH MY GOD! 

NOOOO STEPHHHH!!  

TIFFFF!! DON’T DIE ON ME PLEASEEE!” Jessica shouted on the mouthpiece. 

“…c-cumming.. ” comes a husky reply from Tiffany. 

“Who’s coming?” she asked deadpanned. 

“I’m c-cumming.. ”

“You’re coming?”

“I’M CUMMING!!!”

“Right now?  Okay I’ll prepare food and then we’ll talk abo—”

“T-TAEYEON!!!”

3

2

1

YAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” she lets out her dolphin scream as loud as she can and hang up the call. Her face all flustered. 

———

You traumatized the poor princess…” the woman under said as she tries to breathe properly after her 7th release. 

A chuckle. 

“She’ll be calling for the black bean later on. Another round?” she asked cutely at the girl under her. 

“Taeyeon NO—”

She didn’t let her finish. 

I’m just starting Fany-ah.”

Guess who’s not desperate?  😊

———

*CrackHeads Chatgroup*

°°°

The Missing Pussy: *sent an audio file.*

The Pussy Hunter: whats that?? 

The Missing Pussy: open it and you’ll know. 

The Pussy Hunter CHANGED The Missing Pussy’s NICKNAME TO The Unfortunate Pussy

The Pussy Hunter: GUYS!  @Seotato Madness @It’s Heavy @Mighty Mouth @Yuri Kwon @Sooyoung Choi !!!! FANY SAYS HIII COME AND HEAR IT *sends an audio file*

The Pussy Hunter: Enjoy you shits. 

Seotato Madness: 😱😨

Mighty Mouth: 🤒🤐

It’s Heavy: 😂😂😂

Yuri Kwon: @The Unfortunate Pussy can i cum over? 

Yuri Kwon: come*

The Unfortunate Pussy: @Yuri Kwon i just booked your flight in two hours. 

Sooyoung Choi: CAN WE SELL IT TO PORNHUB? 

It’s Heavy REMOVED Sooyoung Choi FROM THE GROUP. 

———

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